[Maybe not fully okay. He'd likely need therapy for his self-loathing and insecurities that he'll never be willing to participate in but he does already feel lighter having gotten these things off his chest--particularly the part about liking Oushi to the extent that he does. Probably obvious to anyone but the two of them.
Another kiss near his lips distracts him from his thoughts, and he doesn't mind. They're going nowhere. Vanitas' eyes close for a moment, remembering to appreciate the warmth of Oushi's mouth and the sparks of pleasure that come from each point of contact near his neck. His breath catches, nodding in agreement to the words.]
Hate you? How can you make me hate you? [It's not possible, but he wants to hear Oushi's idea, even biting his lower lip to stop a moan from escaping as he releases his grip on the other's shirt. His hands drop to Oushi's forearms instead--even those are stronger than they used to be when they first met. He holds onto his wrists a moment, then finally finding his hands.]
[ it would be a unique form of hypocrisy if oushi were to hold vanitas' inexperience — or inability to properly express himself, or any other myriad of issues he might have that prevent him from being successful with relationships — against him in any way. oushi himself is not exactly well-equipped to navigate these treacherous waters, and he has far, far less reasons that would hold him back.
all he can do is promise to be patient, and considerate, and communicate as best as he can what's going on in his own head and heart and... well. he's working on that, okay?
he doesn't want to be a burden. he doesn't want whatever this is between them to be troublesome for vanitas in any way. but vanitas is still here, isn't he? oushi has to trust that at least means he wants to be. ]
I could ignore all your calls or texts.
[ is it counter-productive, making these suggestions? hopefully vanitas realizes he's only half-serious — that he would do it all in a heartbeat if that's what vanitas really wanted from him, but probably only under that condition. ]
I could avoid you every time we pass in the halls.
[ if it's not counter-productive, then it's at the very least counter-intuitive, because as he makes all of these suggestions he bookends his words with a kiss. one to vanitas' cheek, another to his mouth, one more at the corner of those lips, lower still to a jaw, then a throat, until he's buried his nose in the deep scent of vanitas' neck, his tongue swiping a slow circle against a pulse point. ]
I could make you feel so good, but not let you come.
[None of that would be enough to make Vanitas hate him, but he can feel himself getting gradually more upset by these hypotheticals that would certainly manage to piss him off at the very least. Even if he's not a fan of how it feels to care about someone this much, it's not like he wants it to stop. He'd rather accept the inconvenience of it if it means Oushi will keep kissing him.]
You wish you could ignore me, and you're delusional if you think you could avoid me if I wanted to find you.
[He complains, brows furrowed in annoyance at himself at least until Oushi's mouth falls on his throat again and all his malice melts away in an instant. Damn it. Vanitas draws away reluctantly to push the door shut with his foot, then backs Oushi up against it. His hands at either side of broader shoulders, threatening almost as his eyes narrow at that last one.]
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[Maybe not fully okay. He'd likely need therapy for his self-loathing and insecurities that he'll never be willing to participate in but he does already feel lighter having gotten these things off his chest--particularly the part about liking Oushi to the extent that he does. Probably obvious to anyone but the two of them.
Another kiss near his lips distracts him from his thoughts, and he doesn't mind. They're going nowhere. Vanitas' eyes close for a moment, remembering to appreciate the warmth of Oushi's mouth and the sparks of pleasure that come from each point of contact near his neck. His breath catches, nodding in agreement to the words.]
Hate you? How can you make me hate you? [It's not possible, but he wants to hear Oushi's idea, even biting his lower lip to stop a moan from escaping as he releases his grip on the other's shirt. His hands drop to Oushi's forearms instead--even those are stronger than they used to be when they first met. He holds onto his wrists a moment, then finally finding his hands.]
no subject
all he can do is promise to be patient, and considerate, and communicate as best as he can what's going on in his own head and heart and... well. he's working on that, okay?
he doesn't want to be a burden. he doesn't want whatever this is between them to be troublesome for vanitas in any way. but vanitas is still here, isn't he? oushi has to trust that at least means he wants to be. ]
I could ignore all your calls or texts.
[ is it counter-productive, making these suggestions? hopefully vanitas realizes he's only half-serious — that he would do it all in a heartbeat if that's what vanitas really wanted from him, but probably only under that condition. ]
I could avoid you every time we pass in the halls.
[ if it's not counter-productive, then it's at the very least counter-intuitive, because as he makes all of these suggestions he bookends his words with a kiss. one to vanitas' cheek, another to his mouth, one more at the corner of those lips, lower still to a jaw, then a throat, until he's buried his nose in the deep scent of vanitas' neck, his tongue swiping a slow circle against a pulse point. ]
I could make you feel so good, but not let you come.
no subject
You wish you could ignore me, and you're delusional if you think you could avoid me if I wanted to find you.
[He complains, brows furrowed in annoyance at himself at least until Oushi's mouth falls on his throat again and all his malice melts away in an instant. Damn it. Vanitas draws away reluctantly to push the door shut with his foot, then backs Oushi up against it. His hands at either side of broader shoulders, threatening almost as his eyes narrow at that last one.]
You're playing with fire.