[ oushi opts not to answer, because it would have just been something depressing like i don't think that's possible here. at least it isn't long after that he finds where choso's been lurking outside. somehow, even out in a wide open space, choso still gives off a lurker kind of vibe. maybe it's the complexion.
oushi ambles towards him, hands in his pockets and eyes drifting across the space, even towards the night sky. trying very hard indeed to appear quite casual, as if their meeting is merely incidental as opposed to every bit as full of intent as it is. ]
( it's true that there's something enjoyable about the night air--it feels better than being cooped up inside, especially when he's so uncertain about this place, and about everything around him. better to be able to look up at a dark sky, than to stare up at a ceiling; there's something about enclosed places that just doesn't feel right, anymore, not after what happened in shibuya. if he's outside, then at least he's not taking up space, either: which is why he's lingered off towards one side of the courtyard, almost like he'll melt into one of the trees there and disappear.
he hears him before he sees him--and he can't sense him, which is an odd, strange feeling, as though unable to read even cursed energy in humans, here. but his senses are sharp, enough that he doesn't look particularly surprised, when he tips his chin and glances down, a once-over to reassure that oushi has at least come to him in one piece.
it may be impossible to be safe here, or careful. but he feels a bit of responsibility for this one--his 'friend', if he's allowed to use the word so freely. he doesn't know if he's really ever had friends, though yuki tsukumo would probably hit him for thinking it. )
...You told me to wait. ( quietly, matter-of-fact, as though that explains him standing there. ) So I'm just standing around.
( another glance down, reassuring, before he centers his gaze on oushi's profile. )
Do you want to walk? I'll walk with you. I don't think we'll get very far.
[ still, he does look a little embarrassed for it. not necessarily the misunderstanding, but that he more or less made the man hang around aimlessly for a handful of minutes. he really needs to remember to be more careful with his words, around choso. ]
It's fine, we don't have to do anything.
[ though that does mean a lot more of just standing around... he makes a brief, executive decision, and plunks himself right down on the grass. he draws his knees up, letting his arms rest over them. the aim here had been to simply be with the other... as if to somehow prove his offer of friendship with his presence. it seemed like a good idea at the time, considering they hadn't even met in person before, but it just feels a little silly to flat out say, I didn't want you to be lonely. ]
( his lips press together, like he might argue--but instead he watches oushi plunk himself down in the grass, twisting on the heels of his shoes. is that really okay, being out here, sitting in the grass of the courtyard? are they going to get into some kind of trouble? he's too used to keeping an ear out that he does give a cursory glance around them; there's nothing that he can see, just the quiet sounds of the night, in a place that's unfamiliar to the both of them.
so with another measuring glance, he crouches down, at first, knees pressed together, before he lets himself sink down to sit in the grass next to him. his legs are a little too long, compared to oushi, which is why he finally decides to maneuver himself to sit cross-legged; one of his knees ends up brushed up against him. )
You want a status report. ( he says, in a low, thoughtful voice: a little teasing. )
Not a lot. I've been trying to learn what I can about this place, why we're here, if there's any method to not be here, anymore.
( but that also draws up complications of its own--and brings his thoughts around to someone else, something else, his lips sinking into a frown. )
...There is someone from my world here. He's a painful person to be around, and he makes everything very difficult, but I think I need to watch out for him.
( his hands sink down into his lap, tipping his chin up to look towards the trees, and beyond them, the sky. )
[ oushi's nose wrinkles, ears prickling at the teasing. he gets ready to protest, Don't call it that, but choso is carrying on along and so all oushi can do in retaliation is press his knee a little more firmly against the other's.
what choso winds up telling him is a little more unsettling than he might have originally thought. on the one hand, he thinks to feel ? a strange sense of relief for the other. hadn't he been attempting to locate people from his world from the start? then again, he'd been looking for his friends, and the way choso describes this guy doesn't seem to be fitting the bill.
he thinks to pry a little more, but what choso ends up saying next has him snorting out a short bubble of laughter — dry and derisive. ]
Right. I'm Mister Popularity.
[ the sarcasm is so thick in his voice that for a moment he's certain choso would understand he didn't mean a single word of it... that the very idea was, as he'd reacted, laughable. but then he remembers himself quickly enough. ]
No. I've been keeping to myself when I can.
[ equal parts due to his own inherent nature, as well as a petulant attempt at spiting the captors who keep insisting on their precious buddy system. ]
I'm not that good at people, anyway.
[ well there's a depressing thought. he decides to switch gears. ]
You feel responsible for him? The guy from your world?
[ the question feels stupid the second it leaves his mouth. choso had taken it upon himself to look after oushi, before even meeting him in person. obviously he'd feel responsible for someone from his own world.
( his gaze moves, from the sky up above them, dark and starry, down to the grass in front of them--it feels like he's measuring oushi's words, trying to pick apart the truth in them, trying to read the soft-spoken truths in between. would he say that oushi isn't good at people? maybe, but that's not something that he can decide. he's not good at people either, from an entirely different angle, and it doesn't feel right to make those judgments.
so instead, he's left with his own truths. thoughtful, a little rumbling, as he sets his palms out on his knees. )
I think you're the kind of person who would draw someone in whether you were looking for them or not. You don't have to think like that about yourself.
( it's not scolding--because who is he to scold, either? at least in this instance, all he can do is express how he feels, something that he's getting better at, even if he's still clumsy. there's no shame in it; if oushi laughs at him, then he'll take that in stride.
still, questions about the person from his world make his lips twist into a frown; his fingers flex, both hands coming into fists despite himself. )
...He's a powerful creature, but I know more than he does. About what happens to him.
( his chin lifts, but only so that he can look out into the distance. )
It seems this place is able to manipulate time and space. I'm from a future that he doesn't know yet. Is that strange? ( a swift shake of his head. ) No. It's just the truth of it.
If I know these things, and I know how important he is to others...Then it should be my duty to keep him safe.
( here, at least, he offers a faint tease: ) Like you.
[ it's not scolding, it's something much worse. a compliment, wrapped in gentle chiding, like something soft and familiar and cozy. oushi might have bristled from the sound of it, if it didn't flood him with such a strange sort of warmth that feels a little like bile wanting to project itself right out of his mouth. what the hell is that, anyway? feeling so good you want to throw up? that's not real life. ]
...I think you're just a really good person, and I got lucky.
[ and maybe they can just agree to disagree, and leave it at that. neither one content to take credit for this unlikely friendship, which has been a very fortunate thing, at least on oushi's part, however accidental it might have been. ]
Try not to put so much responsibility on yourself.
[ he imagines choso is very strong and very capable. but it's still a lot to carry all alone, isn't it? that's what oushi thinks, anyway. ]
I get it, though. Wanting to protect what's precious.
[ even if the person in question isn't specifically precious to choso himself, but oushi has begun to understand that the man's altruism is a vast and possibly even endless thing.
(thinking in those terms, it becomes much easier to swallow the way words like like you make him feel.) ]
Mmm. ( a soft nod of his chin, as though in acknowledgement--because who wouldn't want to try to protect what's precious, right? it's at least one thing he thinks that humans, and creatures like him, can understand; then again, he's not sure a curse is really capable of protecting anything but itself.
his fingers clench, folded into his lap, flexing around each other like he might crack his knuckles, pull his fingers out of their sockets, or worry his skin raw; any of those would be viable, given how he locks his hands together. )
I'm not a good person, but it feels good that you think so.
( a short swallow. )
I would like it, if you thought so. If you kept thinking so. It's something important to you, right? To...people.
Being good. Having good people around them.
( it's something human, something that he wants for himself; it's hard to say whether oushi's just being nice to him, and maybe it's a little fruitless, wanting to be recognized by him, or wanting to be important. is that something he should be ashamed of? embarrassed of? friendship isn't anything like that.
so then why worry about it? what's driving that feeling, inside of him? )
I want you to think I'm decent, at the very least.
[ oushi, out of respect for choso's muddling through his thoughts, keeps his eyes rooted firmly on the laces of his shoes. by the end of it, he's stared so hard at them, he's a little surprised they haven't just burst into flames. ]
It's a lot of work, to be good. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
[ no, he hasn't killed people. he hasn't even hit a person, not once ever in his life.
but he's hurt people. and some hurts can be worse than death. ]
I think... [ hm. ] I think for most people, it's enough that people are good to them.
Maybe you don't have to worry so much about how much good you're doing, in general. Maybe it's just enough you find people who make you want to be good, and that you're good to them. Maybe sometimes it's okay to keep your world small.
[ he lapses into an awkward silence, finding himself in that mortifying after-moment of hearing his own words repeating on loop. he shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie, suddenly wishing the garment were ten times bigger and thus far more capable of swallowing him up whole. ]
You're good to me. I'm not very good at showing it, but — I appreciate it. A lot.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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look i didn't say it was bothersome
you just shouldn't be going out of your way like this
if you wanna hang out then just say you wanna hang out you don't have to hide it in looking after me
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I'm not hiding anything. I'm concerned for you.
But I understand what you're saying.
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where are you right now
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Outside.
( very specific. )
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there are lots of outsides
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The night air is nice. I wanted more of it.
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are you alone?
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I don't have anyone to go anywhere with.
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( ): )
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[ he basically said that. ]
it doesn't matter anyway since we're friends now
so next time you feel like going out just call me
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just wait there
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oushi ambles towards him, hands in his pockets and eyes drifting across the space, even towards the night sky. trying very hard indeed to appear quite casual, as if their meeting is merely incidental as opposed to every bit as full of intent as it is. ]
You're talking a walk? Or just standing around?
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he hears him before he sees him--and he can't sense him, which is an odd, strange feeling, as though unable to read even cursed energy in humans, here. but his senses are sharp, enough that he doesn't look particularly surprised, when he tips his chin and glances down, a once-over to reassure that oushi has at least come to him in one piece.
it may be impossible to be safe here, or careful. but he feels a bit of responsibility for this one--his 'friend', if he's allowed to use the word so freely. he doesn't know if he's really ever had friends, though yuki tsukumo would probably hit him for thinking it. )
...You told me to wait. ( quietly, matter-of-fact, as though that explains him standing there. ) So I'm just standing around.
( another glance down, reassuring, before he centers his gaze on oushi's profile. )
Do you want to walk? I'll walk with you. I don't think we'll get very far.
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[ still, he does look a little embarrassed for it. not necessarily the misunderstanding, but that he more or less made the man hang around aimlessly for a handful of minutes. he really needs to remember to be more careful with his words, around choso. ]
It's fine, we don't have to do anything.
[ though that does mean a lot more of just standing around... he makes a brief, executive decision, and plunks himself right down on the grass. he draws his knees up, letting his arms rest over them. the aim here had been to simply be with the other... as if to somehow prove his offer of friendship with his presence. it seemed like a good idea at the time, considering they hadn't even met in person before, but it just feels a little silly to flat out say, I didn't want you to be lonely. ]
What've you been up to since we last spoke?
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so with another measuring glance, he crouches down, at first, knees pressed together, before he lets himself sink down to sit in the grass next to him. his legs are a little too long, compared to oushi, which is why he finally decides to maneuver himself to sit cross-legged; one of his knees ends up brushed up against him. )
You want a status report. ( he says, in a low, thoughtful voice: a little teasing. )
Not a lot. I've been trying to learn what I can about this place, why we're here, if there's any method to not be here, anymore.
( but that also draws up complications of its own--and brings his thoughts around to someone else, something else, his lips sinking into a frown. )
...There is someone from my world here. He's a painful person to be around, and he makes everything very difficult, but I think I need to watch out for him.
( his hands sink down into his lap, tipping his chin up to look towards the trees, and beyond them, the sky. )
You've been busy here? Meeting new people.
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what choso winds up telling him is a little more unsettling than he might have originally thought. on the one hand, he thinks to feel ? a strange sense of relief for the other. hadn't he been attempting to locate people from his world from the start? then again, he'd been looking for his friends, and the way choso describes this guy doesn't seem to be fitting the bill.
he thinks to pry a little more, but what choso ends up saying next has him snorting out a short bubble of laughter — dry and derisive. ]
Right. I'm Mister Popularity.
[ the sarcasm is so thick in his voice that for a moment he's certain choso would understand he didn't mean a single word of it... that the very idea was, as he'd reacted, laughable. but then he remembers himself quickly enough. ]
No. I've been keeping to myself when I can.
[ equal parts due to his own inherent nature, as well as a petulant attempt at spiting the captors who keep insisting on their precious buddy system. ]
I'm not that good at people, anyway.
[ well there's a depressing thought. he decides to switch gears. ]
You feel responsible for him? The guy from your world?
[ the question feels stupid the second it leaves his mouth. choso had taken it upon himself to look after oushi, before even meeting him in person. obviously he'd feel responsible for someone from his own world.
no subject
so instead, he's left with his own truths. thoughtful, a little rumbling, as he sets his palms out on his knees. )
I think you're the kind of person who would draw someone in whether you were looking for them or not. You don't have to think like that about yourself.
( it's not scolding--because who is he to scold, either? at least in this instance, all he can do is express how he feels, something that he's getting better at, even if he's still clumsy. there's no shame in it; if oushi laughs at him, then he'll take that in stride.
still, questions about the person from his world make his lips twist into a frown; his fingers flex, both hands coming into fists despite himself. )
...He's a powerful creature, but I know more than he does. About what happens to him.
( his chin lifts, but only so that he can look out into the distance. )
It seems this place is able to manipulate time and space. I'm from a future that he doesn't know yet. Is that strange? ( a swift shake of his head. ) No. It's just the truth of it.
If I know these things, and I know how important he is to others...Then it should be my duty to keep him safe.
( here, at least, he offers a faint tease: ) Like you.
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...I think you're just a really good person, and I got lucky.
[ and maybe they can just agree to disagree, and leave it at that. neither one content to take credit for this unlikely friendship, which has been a very fortunate thing, at least on oushi's part, however accidental it might have been. ]
Try not to put so much responsibility on yourself.
[ he imagines choso is very strong and very capable. but it's still a lot to carry all alone, isn't it? that's what oushi thinks, anyway. ]
I get it, though. Wanting to protect what's precious.
[ even if the person in question isn't specifically precious to choso himself, but oushi has begun to understand that the man's altruism is a vast and possibly even endless thing.
(thinking in those terms, it becomes much easier to swallow the way words like like you make him feel.) ]
no subject
his fingers clench, folded into his lap, flexing around each other like he might crack his knuckles, pull his fingers out of their sockets, or worry his skin raw; any of those would be viable, given how he locks his hands together. )
I'm not a good person, but it feels good that you think so.
( a short swallow. )
I would like it, if you thought so. If you kept thinking so. It's something important to you, right? To...people.
Being good. Having good people around them.
( it's something human, something that he wants for himself; it's hard to say whether oushi's just being nice to him, and maybe it's a little fruitless, wanting to be recognized by him, or wanting to be important. is that something he should be ashamed of? embarrassed of? friendship isn't anything like that.
so then why worry about it? what's driving that feeling, inside of him? )
I want you to think I'm decent, at the very least.
no subject
It's a lot of work, to be good. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
[ no, he hasn't killed people. he hasn't even hit a person, not once ever in his life.
but he's hurt people. and some hurts can be worse than death. ]
I think... [ hm. ] I think for most people, it's enough that people are good to them.
Maybe you don't have to worry so much about how much good you're doing, in general. Maybe it's just enough you find people who make you want to be good, and that you're good to them. Maybe sometimes it's okay to keep your world small.
[ he lapses into an awkward silence, finding himself in that mortifying after-moment of hearing his own words repeating on loop. he shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie, suddenly wishing the garment were ten times bigger and thus far more capable of swallowing him up whole. ]
You're good to me. I'm not very good at showing it, but — I appreciate it. A lot.
(no subject)